ArticlesHas the Fear of Flying controlled you for too long…?Are you the type of person who is successful in all other aspects of your life but when it comes to flying on an aeroplane you just go to bits, become hot, sweaty and very anxious? You cannot understand why this fear just takes over you and you become a victim to it. The people around you just become accepting of your phobia and sacrifice their happiness of travelling just to accommodate your feelings. Well, it doesn’t have to be that way! In one simple session your fears of flying can be eliminated. The fear of flying is real for over 40% of the population and its effects range from mild anxiety before a flight to a state of terror which can prevent the sufferer from even boarding an aircraft. In the worst cases, even a visit to an airport is impossible, even watching aeroplanes on the TV can trigger the symptoms. The symptoms can start months before a flight and become steadily more debilitating as the flight time approaches. Frequently holidays are spoiled because the fear preys on the mind to such an extent that recovery from the outward flight is followed immediately by fears of the return flight. We take in information through our 5 senses (see it, hear it, smell it, taste it or feel it) once we have taken in the information and processed it we then give it a meaning and sometimes this can be based on our previous experiences. If the experience we had was led to a negative emotion such as fear it is likely that when we come into contact with that same stimuli we will have the same negative feelings again. To eliminate the phobia I use a NLP technique called the fast phobia cure. It is a process that works with the submodalities that we have in our minds when we represent information to ourselves. These codes are made up of sensory related content. When this information is distorted it has the impact of changing the way we feel. This process is done after first ensuring that the client has a “resource anchor” which is a buildup of positive emotions that they can access whenever they feel that they need to throughout the process. The Fast Phobia cure also desensitizes the feelings the client has by replaying their most significant experience with their phobic stimuli very fast (in their mind), forwards in Black and white and backwards in colour several times. This repetition has the impact of reducing the feelings associated with the event. I find hypnotherapy works really well after the fast phobia cure to install some positive suggestions to ensure the client is feeling calm and relaxed and how to react differently in the future. You should take comfort in the fact that you are not alone in your fear of flying. Neither is the fear of flying a weakness, it is something that you can overcome and there is all the help you need on this site. In one simple one2one session your fears of flying can be eliminated or you can download the Hypnosis Audio ‘Fear of Flying’ by visiting kaygill.com/audios If what your doing is not working - CHANGE IT - by Kay GillHave you ever watched an ant? If their heading somewhere and you try to block their path they will find another way to get to where they want to go. They’ll climb over, under, around but they will not give up. What an amazing philosophy to have - never give up, never stop looking for a way to get to where you want to go.
So why is it that as adults we try something once, twice and then give up?
We give ourselves excuses “I didn’t have the money, I wasn’t confident enough and who did I think I was anyway?”
If we stopped trying after a few attempts we would have never have learnt to walk, we would have given up after falling a few times.
The key is to keep trying new things until you find the magic formula.
If Colonel Saunders had given up after the first few attempts Kentucky Fried Chicken would not be a worldwide establishment today. Even at the age of 62, after being made redundant the Colonel spent two years knocking on peoples doors to buy his special recipe.
Turn “failure” into valuable feedback and into a winning state that includes curiosity and motivation. Imagine feeling positive and motivated after the ninety-ninth failure.Mr. Edison, the man who invented light bulbs, tried thousands of ways to make light bulbs before he found a way that worked. Every time he tried something and it didn't work, Mr. Edison said "I've learnt another way not to make a light bulb!" - And he was happy, because he had learned something.
When the desire to achieve is big enough you will find a way and not give up. There will be obstacles and challenges along the way and the important thing is how you pick yourself up and learn from the experience and decide how you will do things differently next time.
The type of questions you ask yourself are equally important so ensure you are asking yourself quality questions when you have negativity show up in your life. Instead of asking, “Why does it always happen to me? How could I be so stupid? Why do I always fail?
Replace these with:
“What is there to learn from this experience?”
“How can I do things differently?”
“How much have I grown as a person from this event?”
Acknowledge how much you have achieved since you set out on your journey.
The question I always ask myself in these situations and guaranteed it always takes me to a positive place is:
“What am I grateful for in my life?”
Remember the ant philosophy never give up, they always think ahead when its summer they are stocking up food for the winter and when its winter they always think summer, they constantly remind themselves that the winter wont last long, summer will come.
Using the skills of NLP you can eliminate negative thoughts and replace them with positive empowering alternatives.
Communicating Successfully with your Child using NLP - by Kay GillAs adults it is important to remember that the language we use can have a major impact on the way it is interpreted by a child. Perhaps you may want your child to finish his or her dinner and the child finds it’s quite amusing to play with the food by throwing it. You then raise your voice and say “Don’t throw your food” the interesting thing is that your child will not register the “Don’t” That is because the brain cannot process negatives. The child hears “Throw your food” Whatever you say to yourself consciously you’re unconscious will seek to prove you right. There is a part of your brain called the Reticular Activating System and it will work even if what you are saying is negative. As you read this have a go now to see how this works: “Don’t think of the queen…” You will either have an image of the Queen or you may hear the sound of her voice or perhaps have a feeling towards her. Your brain will scan through all its memories and find something associated with the queen and then go oops I’m not meant to think about that. Therefore you have to do it in order to not do it. So it is important to remember to focus on the things you do want as opposed to the things you don’t want. You could say to your child, “Quickly finish the food so we can play together” and have them focus on playing together after they’ve finished their food. You may ask your child to go and clean their room. For a child this can be very a big demand. They become lost and the task just appears far too big, their concentration levels aren’t as high as adults. It helps to break it down for example to ask them to pick up their clothes off the floor, do the bed up etc. A clever way that I found works with children that makes them feel they are making the decision but in fact the end result is what you want. In NLP we call it a double bind. It basically is a set of options where the individual feels they are making the choice. For example if I want my child to go to bed I will say would you like to go to bed at 8.15 or 8.30 they will always say the later. I want them to be in bed by half eight but they are left feeling they are in control and have made the choice. For example; Would you like to do your homework now or in 10 minutes? Would you like to read a book or write a story? Would you like a bath or shower? Do you want to play on the Playstation or go on the Computer? The language we use is very important the chid will live up to whatever we tell him or her. If you say to your child consistently that you’re not confident or we talk about the child as not very confident to others they will feel they have a label and will live up to it. Alternatively if you say to your child “You’re a genius” they will start to believe that and produce even better results. For more information on how to use NLP with Kids visit www.NLP4Kids.org NLP and Kids - by Kay GillKids are the most amazing creatures. Infact, they could teach us adults a few skills should we care to take a few moments to look deeper into their simple strategies of life. What time do kids wake up? How much energy do they have? How excited do they get when trying new things? Does this sound like a child you know? So when as adults did we lose that same excitement and energy? When did we become more concerned about what others would think of us? How would your day be different if you were to wake up with a big smile, jump out of bed and into the shower looking forward to the day ahead, instead of hearing the alarm clock and thinking ‘no not yet’, ‘just a little longer’ as you switch your alarm off into snooze mode. Half an hour later you finally manage to scramble out of bed tripping over your belongings left on the floor from last night; cursing the fact you are now seriously going to be late for work thanks to your snooze control. Knowing it’s going to be one of those greasy hair days, but it was worth the extra time in bed. You don’t have time for breakfast and if you are woman you rush out with your make up bag in hand and head towards the train station. What kind of day lies ahead? When a child learns to ride a bike how many times do they fall? Yet they still continue to keep trying until they have mastered the art of riding the bike. So why do we as adults stop trying, admit failure after the first or second attempt? The language we use to justify to ourselves for quitting “I was not confident, I didn’t have the money, and who did I think I was anyway?” Does this sound familiar? What feelings do you get if you were asked to dance like John Travolta at your next business meeting? What pictures do you run in your head? Ask the same question to a child and hey presto they get a buzz rushing through them. They don’t bother with things like I can’t do that or I’m going to look silly. Children don’t usually have words in their vocabulary, such as fear, anger, grudges, unhappy, tired, bored and failure etc. This is a learnt behaviour, by observing the adults around them, being told what to do and what not to do. They become culturally hypnotised about how to feel, what to feel and when to feel it. As an adult when we see a child who is crying, naturally we want to make them stop. Unconsciously we send them a message that crying is wrong, even when the crying is justified. The child thinks I must trust that big person it’s not okay to be emotional. Think about the thoughts you have, the limiting beliefs that hold you back, how easily you can improve the quality of your life just by changing your mindset and acting more like a kid. Using the skills of NLP you can eliminate negative thoughts and replace them with positive empowering alternatives. Call now on 0121 354 3444 to find out how we can help you. |
